Getting Real About Grief

I told you a little about this in my first post on this blog, but I wanted to tell you a little more about how I began my Plexus journey.

As you may know, I am divorced.  The process started about a year ago.  If you've ever been through a divorce, you know that it's devastating.  You feel like the world is ending except that no is running around screaming and seeking shelter like they should be.  Somehow everyone else seems to walk about as if they don't see the sky turning red, and rain turning to fire.  I felt so inconsolable.  Despite an amicable divorce, I was still losing a loved one, a future, and a dream.

I would go to work, teach all day without a single student knowing that I wasn't OK, and then I'd come home and collapse.  During this time, I have received daily emails from a group called DivorceCare.org.  One email talked about energy disruptions during grief.  “Emotionally you’re spinning,” says Dr. Jim A. Talley. “You are going round and round. It’s like you are running your engine wide open, but you’re in neutral and not going anywhere, yet you can’t shut the motor off. Eighty-five percent of your energy is being consumed in the whole emotional area. That leaves you 5 percent mental, 5 percent spiritual, and 5 percent physical. Mental difficulties include the inability to make decisions. Physically, you are totally exhausted. Spiritually, you have a loss of faith; you are not sure God exists, and you’re not sure if you even care if He exists.”

Imagine living on 15% of your normal energy.  I ate out pretty much every meal.  I didn't have the energy to cook.  I could barely do my grading, let alone plan for and execute a meal.  I knew that if food wasn't brought to me, I wouldn't eat at all.  I'm amazed that I didn't gain more weight than I did during this time.

I also didn't exercise.  By which I mean, I didn't make any unnecessary physical effort.  I had no energy, no motivation.  They say that exercise is really good for depression, and I know that it's true.  But I just couldn't do it.  And the truth is, I didn't care.  I was surviving.  That was my daily victory for months.

Eventually I came out of the fog just enough to realize that I needed to start taking care of myself.  I knew I couldn't do it all at once.  Taking care of my body seemed more daunting than I can express.  There's nothing like the combination of depression and the feeling of failure that comes with carrying yet another pizza box to the dumpster.

About that time, I started to notice a difference in my mentor.  She was slimmer and overall looked healthier.  Her skin looked great, and her clothes fit better.  I asked what she was doing and she told me about Plexus.  I decided to try it.  It was the first step in taking my body and my life back!

I woke in the morning and mixed my Slim.  I took my ProBio5 and BioCleanse in the evening.  It took so little effort that even in my weary state, I could do it.  I could be proud that I was doing something, anything for my own well-being.  The simple act of taking that step changed my outlook, and the Plexus products changed me health!

Am I completely over my divorce?  No.  I may never be.

Do I credit Plexus for the progress I’ve made?  In part.  I never would have made it this far without my amazing therapist, my loving mentor, my extraordinary friends and family who never gave up on me, and the Lord of the universe who holds me in His hands and writes my destiny.

I have come a long way.  I’m so proud!  And while the worst has past, I will never go off Plexus.  It has literally changed me inside and then out.  Now I’m actually motivated to eat better and exercise!  I look forward to it.  I don’t fear breaking some sort of strict routine, because I know that my metabolism is now so stable, that my diet doesn’t have to be as stable.  This is freedom!  This is physical health that doesn’t cause mental shame.  I am so proud to stand behind the Plexus line.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.  It’s nice to share more about my personal journey, and to finally feel comfortable in my own skin.  It’s been a long time!

For more information, please comment below or go to my Plexus page at http://shopmyplexus.com/kimhammons/