So I'm home, looking for something that I lost. I think, I'll look behind the TV stand even though there's no way anything fell back there. And what to my wondering eyes should appear?!? A massive mess of spider web, left over bug parts, and five egg sacs!!!
I remained calm, grabbed the vacuum and went to work. I started by getting the SOB. Then I got his web, and the pile of debris under it. I sucked up the egg sacs with some effort, but with determination. My life my depend on this!!
OK, his home is destroyed. But of course, he's still alive crawling around in my bagless vacuum. So off to the bathroom to flush him. This is the moment. This is "cutting the red wire." Let me break it down for you. First, I have to remove the vacuum trap. Then, live spider inside, I have to remove the filter, and dump the contents into the toilet. Oh, and did I mention that the spider is currently crawling on the filter and when I try to knock him off, I find that he's anchored himself to the filter with a bit of webbing. Deep breath... don't rush it...
I finally get him off the filter, and everything goes in the toilet. I watch to make sure he's indeed in the water. Once I locate him, I flush. But... he doesn't go down!! So I flush again. This time, he's gone... But I flush two more times because I've seen this #@*$%&# movie, and I'm not that dumb!
Now the spider, egg sacs, etc are in the pipes, but zombie lesson #2, double tap! So I rinse the freaking crap out of the vacuum trap, and even the filter. Just to be extra sure that nothing unseen is getting out of there, I reassembled the vacuum without letting it dry.
I hate spiders! But I did it! I'll be itchy and paranoid for at least a week, but I did it! I am officially badass!!!
